Art of the John

Pleading!

2009-06-16T21:10:00.004-04:00

Today we have three pleading tales.

First up. A desperate cry for a bathroom necessity.

Second. Pleading of a totally different flavor. Maybe just as desperate. Maybe more. I've seen this type of thing on the walls of bathrooms forever. I can't help but wonder how many of them are serious, how many are jokes, how many are an invitation to violence, and how many get their desired results. I got a feeling Stephen isn't the one that put his phone number up there in response to "Bottom Guy".
In case you can't read it. It says; "Bottom Guy[,] Needs Big Dick in mouth+ Ass[,] Daytime only[,] I swallow[.] Leave #" Then some dude named Stephen left his number. I blacked it out for Stephen's sake.

The third and final plea is from me. Please! If anyone out there is reading this, send me some pics. I'd love to see this blog thrive. I'm just not finding anything new. My port-o-potty well has run dry.

Thanks for reading.

Whore for Poetry.

2009-05-30T20:12:00.003-04:00

My buddy Jay sent me some more good finds. Good thing too, because I haven''t found anything lately.

Here they are:

Up first, we have a little poem. I don't get it, but poetry aint my thing. I hear some people are whores for poetry.
(the poem reads: "The prospect of perfection writhes in your reflection".)

I love this response to the I'm a whore for poetry comment. It says: "If I read you some Langston Hughes would you blow me?"

This is just some great information. Click the image to enlarge it if you can't read it.
If you still can't read it, it says: "Poop chunks all around your face means you got shat on homie." Thanks homie. That's very helpful.

Thanks to my homie Jay for the pics.

¿Dónde está el baño?

2009-05-14T12:31:00.004-04:00

I finally found a toilet that was both new to me and filled with some excellent graffiti. Unfortunately, most of the graffiti is in Spanish.

Here's what I found.

I call this one "Menage a tres". Mostly because three was the only word I knew the translation of. Pretty awesome. The chick on the left looks like Beavis.

This one was huge. Two feet by two feet-ish. Also awesome. I have no idea what happening in the guy's mouth.

Here's La Chucha. No clue what that means but I doubt it's anything good.

Here's La Chucha's car.

Time for a positive message (in English). Thanks Johnny, or Tommy, err.. Jommy, whatever that signature says.

We'll end today with a prayer.

Amen!

Submissions!

2009-04-23T17:22:00.003-04:00

Yay! My buddy Jay sent me some excellent pics taken in the bathroom of a place called Vinnie Van Gogos (or something like that).

Here they are.

Potty Politics.

Potty Witch Doctor. (says: "I'm a Genius")

Awesome six eyed baby. I guess that's what happens if you conceive in the john.

I don't know why your piss is so green.

Another foil hat wearer.
Thanks Jay. Keep 'em coming. If anyone else is reading this, get out there and take some pictures.

Hey Brian!

2009-04-18T10:12:00.004-04:00

"Brian? This is not a mint" ( I don't know why "Brian?" is a question)
This is just gross. (that's what Brian's arrow is pointing to).

The Neighboring Port-o-let

2009-04-13T16:00:00.004-04:00

These are from the port-o-let next to the one that yielded all that goodness from the previous post. Not nearly as good, but there are some treats here. I also went into the third john in the row. It was a blank canvass.

Much like the previous post, most of these scribblings have letters added. Makes them kind of hard to read but I think it makes them funnier than their original forms.
"hockey puck office bass whole" = "fuck off as hole" I guess.

"pussy goes here" was clearly the original scrawl here. That arrow is pointing to the urinal. I think I agree with the Sharpie commentators.

I like this re-imagining of the old "here I sit, broken hearted..." classic.

Awesome little toilet unicorn.

Boy I'd love to have been able to read this one before it was defaced. Those stick figures sure look like they are having a good time.

And lastly, we have another submission from Wombatunderground1. Another nice find. Speaks for itself I think.

Thanks Tim. Keep 'em coming. If anyone else out there is reading this, You start sending in your submissions. Also feel free to leave comments or send emails. I'd like to know if anyone is checking this blog out or not. Thanks.

Jackpot!

2009-04-08T15:58:00.004-04:00

I went into a port-o-let today that I had never been in before, and Oh my god! was it a good one. It had funny cartoons, poetry, and racist intolerance. It was like a classic Disney cartoon. Plus, there are two more johns right next to it. I can't wait to go into the next one tomorrow.

I should save this for last but it's just too good. I present to you: weird chicken lady shitting into the mouth of a rubber necked centaur.
That little poem to the right reads: "Roses are red violets are blue Ed likes penis and his boyfriend does 2" I accidentally Cut off a little of the right side.

Next up we have a nice little note to the honey dipper truck driver. At least that's what I call the poor bastards who have to clean these monstrosities.

There is so much going on here that I'm sure I'll leave something out. A lot of it is hard to read because some clever jokester added extra letters to just about every word. That scribbling with the arrows next to it says: "Mexican watering hole". The scribbling to the right of that is someone's sincere disapproval of the racist message implied. My absolute favorite part is right there in the center(ish). See that little fella with the googly eyes? That's right. That's the money you could be saving by switching to Geico.

Reads: "If you are illegal get the fuck out! If not, Welcome to America!" I doubt this guy will be named ambassador any time soon. The chair with the "don't" sign around it. Your guess is as good as mine.

This racism is at least clever. I love a good play on words.

I leave you with more poetry. This one includes an excellent example of what my 11th grade English teacher said was a "near rhyme".
"Roses are red violets are bluey you will never know how much I love to smell your poopy"

A few from Savannah GA.

2009-04-06T10:04:00.002-04:00

Saw plenty of graffiti on the bathroom walls while visiting Savannah, GA. Most of it was pretty standard stuff. This was the first one I saw. Scrawling Go Gators on the wall in Georgia is pretty ballsy. Being that UF is my alma mater, I was very happy to see that someone had the nerve.

This one is from the ladies room at a bar. Something about that word just seems more men's room to me. I don't hear too many girls saying; "I gotta go take a squirt".

Last but not least, "dont fear the creeper". If it weren't for that poorly executed "P", I never would have even noticed that the creeper was not the original subject of this fine piece of work. I won't give it away. I'm sure you can figure it out.
That's it from Savannah. Back to my usual port-a-potties tomorrow.

Byaaaaaaa!

2009-04-05T13:41:00.002-04:00

Tim (aka Wombatunderground1), from Flickr was kind enough to share this crazy sketch he found on the wall of a toilet at the Tampa Airport Marriott. This one is just plain awesome. Looks like something Napoleon Dynamite would draw. Thanks Tim and a hearty Byaaaaaaa to you.

To see Tim's flicker photostream, visit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25009361@N02/

Sharing is Caring

2009-04-03T08:28:00.004-04:00

I scoured Flickr.com for images suitable for this here blog. I found quite a few and emailed the owners of the photographs to see if they'd be willing to share. I've already gotten some replies. There's hope for this blog after all. Maybe I can stop going into several more port-o-lets than I need to every day.

Without further ado. I present to you this beauty from lomokev.

I love this one. The Sharpie artwork is great and the photo of it even greater. Thanks for sharing Kevin.

Check out lomokev's other fantastic photographs at his Flickr photostream (Nearly 3000 pics). http://www.flickr.com/photos/lomokev/

Direct link to above photo with the artists comments. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lomokev/423391567/

Thanks again Kevin. Stay tuned for more great art of the john from other gracious Flickr users.

Strike Three.

2009-03-31T16:26:00.004-04:00

Larry the Anal Guy strikes again. I had trouble getting quality pictures today. The light was bad or something. Anyway, here is "git 'r' in the shitter" #3

I see this little drawing more than any other. I've probably seen it in 15 toilets. It's always very faintly drawn with pencil and it's always located in the exact same spot in every toilet. I've never taken a picture of it before because it's so hard to see. Today, I had to do it anyway. I've just seen this one too many times. It's a little smiley face head smoking a joint. That's it. Weird, but it's in two out of every three johns I visit. I may be mistaken but to the right of the little stoned guy, it looks like an attempt at a carved "git 'r' in the shitter".

That's all I've got for today.

How Do I Look?

2009-03-30T15:34:00.002-04:00

Sometimes, you can find some extra amenities in these portable toilets. I'm not saying you're going to find running water or a bidet, but occasionally you get more than you expect. Today, I found a john with a mirror. So you can check your hair before returning to screeting concrete.

Good luck seeing your reflection in this.

One John, Three Arts.

2009-03-27T16:16:00.003-04:00

I only visited one john today, but I came away with 3 photos.

This first one totally rules if you ask me.
Those are the vents around the top of the potty. Couple of simple eyes and menacing eyebrows and you've got yourself an hilarious potty god looking down on you whilst you pee pee. Awesome!

This next one is pretty standard yet slightly puzzling. Is there supposed to be an implied "you"? Is this the first wish of someone who just rubbed a lamp? Who knows.

And finally, another crude representation of a certain part of the male anatomy. Not as good as "dick" from a previous update, but still pretty good.
Okay folks. That's it for today. I really need your submissions to make this blog something great. So get out there and take pictures. Also, feel free to leave comments, email your comments or questions, and become a follower of this blog. I want to know if there is anyone out there reading this thing and what you think of it so far.

The Enemy.

2009-03-25T16:23:00.007-04:00

I've been struggling to find anything good lately. I think this picture can explain why.

Most of the johns I've visited lately have looked like this. All the graffiti sanded off. A crime against art if you ask me.

I have managed to find a few things worth sharing.

Get out your foil hats everybody!

A warning. (and my first regular public restroom addition)

says: DENA RUST HAS HERPES (SPELLED HERPIES AND THEN CHANGED TO HERSHIES:)

I don't even know what to say about this one. Just plain weird.

And Finally, some unoriginal racism. I see this one all the time.

St. Paddy's Day!

2009-03-17T17:32:00.006-04:00

Happy Saint Patrick's Day! For today, I offer four carvings. These are always kinda hard to read. I attempted to adjust them to make them as legible as possible. Enjoy!

They all just happen to be from GREEN johns.

First up. We have some poetry. You "my" be able to read it. Good luck.

This one is even harder to read, but I just get a kick out of it for some reason.

It says: "Murray loves dick". Murray is just a funny name. Plus, we're left to wonder if Murray loves another gay dude named Dick or if he just loves Dicks in general.

I've never had turtle but I hear it tastes like chicken.

And finally. A legend.

That's it for today. I'm off on a mini vacation 'til Monday. I'll try and find something to post while I'm not at work and using portable johns. Thanks for looking and don't forget to follow Art of the John on Twitter.

Today's crop

2009-03-16T17:05:00.006-04:00

Just four today, but one is a repeat offender.

It's our old pal, Larry the Anal Guy.

Next, we have a fine depiction of a guy enjoying a sub sandwich. (I'm pretty sure that's a sandwich)

I love this one. It would make an awesome bumper sticker. It's done in pencil, so it was a little hard to see. I tweaked it a little to try and make it more visible.
"No Dickheads"

And finally, an anatomy lesson.

Yikes!

More DooDoo.

2009-03-15T11:22:00.012-04:00

"Mexican Space Shuttle" Totally wrong but there's so much going on here, it's just great. I love that the port-a-potty professor stopped by to correct all the spelling and grammar.

In case you missed it. A little joke from from that same image.

Another one corrected by the professor.

More Racism. I see this one a lot as well as many variations.

This one is very ominous. Heed this warning!

This is another one I see a lot of variations on. It's amazing how many of these portable johns have holes drilled or carved in them.

Simple yet effective.

Awesome Spidey. He's definitely sensing evil doers.

A sad testimonial. However, sometimes I find a john that is amazingly clean and that even smells good.

I'll leave you with this tidbit of philosophy (that I'm sure you've never heard before). Think about it!

Okay. Til next time. Don't forget to follow this blog on twitter at: http://twitter.com/artofthejohn and if you have any pictures of your own, please send them to artofthejohn@gmail.com

The World's Smelliest Galleries.

2009-03-14T16:56:00.001-04:00

For this inaugural post, I'll just load up the images that I've taken so far and comment on them when I see fit.

Sometimes people feel so passionately that they carve their work into the wall rather than just simply bringing a sharpie with them. Here are two of my favorites.

Bathroom philosophy

("The real confucious say: two birds can fly together but only if they become one")

The one is just as thought provoking.

I love this Turd Monster.

Found this drawing on three separate occasions in three separate johns. Who doesn't love a good DP?

Some are just pathetic.

Others are just plain crazy! Muuuuu!

Best Diagram ever! Oh! That's Aaron and that's the dick.

Yes!

Smile!

Minimalist instructions. Very helpful.

Wow! Git 'r indeed.

I love this one. 9 lines never said so much.

A Port-o-let Valentine.

Okay. I'll stop there for now. I've got a bunch more. I'll try and get them up later or maybe tomorrow. I'll also set up an email address for user submitted pics. Thanks for reading.